Closure...Of Sorts

If you are like me, you think a lot about things ending. Thoughts go into ideas of "what ifs", you think longingly of old times, or you think how proud you are to have finished something. All of this may be coming from watching too many episodes of Sex and the City, or from finishing too many projects, or moving to a completely new place, or from finishing a very long, intense book.
Today I just finished a 40+ hour audio book called A Little Life  by Hanya Yanagihara. I've spent the a little less than a year listening to it on and off again, but all the while intrigued by the characters and emotional journeys that the author takes you down. So today, while I was checking out at the grocery store, I listened to the final words of the book and thus closed the final chapter. In a way I'm beginning to feel that I can look onto the next chapter, not of the book, but of my own journey.
I first heard about this book from a friend of mine in the knitting group that I was a part of back in Buffalo. The only thing she said is that it was dark, and every line was like poetry. Both of these points intrigued me, so I bought the audio book from iTunes and began listening to it, and boy was it dark, and wonderfully poetic. Honestly it was one of the best books I have ever read. I have a feeling that it is not everyone's cup of tea but it was a nice big one for me.
I am thankful and happy with myself for being able to create all the things that I can. The joy of taking two dimensional fabric and making it into a three dimensional garment is one that always continues to excite me. In moving to Wyoming, I had to leave a lot of things behind, and most of that was fabric. I have a large fabric collection back in my parent's back room. This goes back to my previous post about seeing or jumping. I have to be honest, I am scared to jump. My friend Mamma from a previous post told me that I'm not afraid of failure, but I am afraid of success. It's so true. If I make something I'm not afraid that it won't turn out, I'm afraid that it will be so perfect that I won't be able to make another like it. And so the old habits of sitting and wondering and not acting take over and I get paralyzed with fear of doing, anything really. In doing this, I have so many projects unfinished, and to my eyes the unfinished ones outweigh all of the finished pieces. Right now I know have have five unfinished pieces; but instead of working on them I worry about them and the worry overtakes the doing.
So where do we go with something that we don't seam to have to internal power to finished? I admit I have turned to inspirational quotes on Pinterest, or to TV, or drinking, or food, but none of those things finish anything I've started. For me, it takes encouragement, which I am lovingly getting from my partner. At times I feel like he is helping me more than I help him, but I know that's not true; we both are helping each other. I know it is not easy for him moving into this next chapter of his journey, and he knows it is not easy for me. But with each other we are making it happen a little easier than if we were alone.
Maybe it's not the closure we need help with, but the starting of a new chapter. In books we have the familiarity of characters and places, but in life we have the real things with people and environments. So let's start this journey together and open a new book on something we've been longing for.